June 2nd, 2010 
pro2go 
The possibility of blowing up the oil spill with a nuclear bomb has been thrown around by bloggers and pundits. But now the Department of Energy has officially said that we will not be nuking the oil spill. Borrrring. More »
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Listen, we’ve got all of these nuclear bombs sitting around.
The irony of spending decades and trillions in tax dollars building a nuclear arsenal only to use it on ourselves is just a little too “live by the sword, die by the sword.”
Here’s a thought: What if we’ve been bluffing all these years and don’t have any nukes? Wouldn’t that be a hoot?
PaisleyPajamas
They could just nuke it a little bit, couldn’t they? Just enough to turn it back into water?
howdini
I myself am getting all stabby everytime I’m listening to the radio or reading a website and I run across more calls to NUKE THE DAMN THING IT WOULD WORK THE RUSSIANS DID IT BP JUST DOESN’T WANT TO WASTE THE OIL AND OBAMA IS A PUSSY.
I can’t imagine how stabby the Department of Energy is getting. I applaud their restraint at stopping at “it’s crazy”. I really do.
SuperKarateMonkeyDeathCar
@ss_1318: How, exactly, do you propose to “weld” a 20″ diameter pipe gushing huge amounts of oil and gas under tremendous pressure?
icelight
I’ve always maintained that there’s no point to detonating a nuclear weapon*.
* If you can’t ride it like Major Kong, obviously. Maybe we can train a dolphin?
SuperKarateMonkeyDeathCar
Russia does have a good history of progressive environmental policies…. I mean just look at the Aral Sea!
semicarbazone
@DennyCrane: Maybe we can trap it in the Phantom Zone.
Blackballs
@Marriage_Iguana: Lisa starts dating Nelson.
Gotta nuke somethin’!
SuperKarateMonkeyDeathCar
Listen, I’m surely not the smartest person on earth, my state, or my apartment complex but wouldn’t this cause more damage than good?
I’m super pissed about this oil spill and all. I feel sort of helpless about it and that’s frustrating, but I can’t see a nuclear bomb being good for anything other than utter destruction and I think we’ve done enough of that.
EnDeVee
Can we “predator drone” it? That seems to be all the rage with the kids, nowadays.
Blackballs
@anchower: absolutely, couldnt find the picture of the fish with 4 eyes.
Cheers.
slite
@slite: You don’t think all that oil’s gonna cause some mutations?
anchower
I suggest getting Reed Richards to send all the oil into the Negative Zone.
DennyCrane
@Candle Jack: YES!
DennyCrane
@Candle Jack: Somebody has to fight Oilra.
anchower
They won’t nuke it because then BP couldn’t harvest the oil.
They don’t really need to nuke it anyway. They could just take an underwater welding device and seal the metal pipes…except that then BP couldn’t harvest the oil.
Jesus, could you folks please offer some ideas that end with BP harvesting the oil?!
ss_1318
“What’s the worst that could happen?” I suspect we could make the hole bigger… but then the oil would run out faster and end the drama. America can’t handle no drama.
Anrkist
@G.O.B.: Come on!: What episode is that from?
Marriage_Iguana
But now the Department of Energy has officially said that we will not be nuking the oil spill. Borrrring.
Adrian, we will lobby the government to reconsider if you are willing to be first on site to see if it worked.
Tristan13
So basically, do the wildlife want to die like Data (tactical explosion), or like Tasha Yar (slow-moving slime monster)?
Either way, will there be a next generation?
unclevanya
The problem is, the guy who proposed it didn’t have a cool codename. Who the hell wouldn’t sign off on The Omega Imperative or Project Vanguard? Jesus, people! It’s like you don’t even want to detonate nuclear bombs in giant lakes of oil at ALL!
(storms out)
Fantasticos_Ganymede
Yeah, because it’s not bad enough that we have OIL in the water, let’s add radiation and crap.
Plus, won’t the shock wave produce very high tides and fuck things up MORE on land? Correct me if I’m wrong, I could be.
Eldritch
if only there were a way we could harness the spilled oil and become the modern day clampett clan.
talithaghetto
Do we really want another Godzilla on our hands?
Candle Jack
@G.O.B.: Come on!: Gotta nuke somethin’!
Robobenito
When will this commie gubmint start embracing the bomb?! Look, it solves the oil spill, whales, A-rabs, and we get casinos!
G.O.B.: Come on!
Just something else they’d have to clean up*.
*I have little to no faith they will ever clean up this oil spill. BP has the money to put so much more fucking money into this problem to try and figure it out but all they do is whine and dodge blame. Can you tell I’m pissed?
couldbeme
nuff said.
slite